You Don’t Need To Be In Control

Are you a controlling personality? Well, congratulations. You’ve been gifted with leadership traits. Keep in mind, though, that there are those who lead wisely, those who are mediocre n their leadership and some who are so infatuated with their need to control that they are downright ornery, or bad or evil. The latter have used their gift of being leaders in the wrong way.

Men and women who are natural leaders are in every business, government and family. We all are affected by them in governing bodies, but especially in the family that is, basically, the center of our lives. Those within the family unit who have controlling natures would serve the family best if they didn’t misuse those abilities.

Children need a measure of control throughout their childhood and teenage years. Parents need to be in control and call the shots. As a child grows and matures, though, he is expanding his own abilities in the process of becoming an adult. The control that is shown over him/her by the parents also should be a process, so that the “letting go” is gradual, giving a little more independence to the child, bit by bit, to keep pace with his maturing process. That way he/she will, in time, come to the point of being able to make good decisions without the parents overseeing everything. If she/he starts making decisions that are immoral or harmful, though, as she nears adulthood, parents need to step in decisively and hard and do what is necessary to put a stop to it.

The marriage relationship is different altogether. Husbands and wives should not try to have power over each other. There is an order that should be set up, yes, with the husband as head of the family, for God intended for that. However, head of the family does not mean, as far as his wife is concerned, that the man has a right to bully her, dictate, lay down the law, ignore her, order her around, or do anything that does not show her honor. Husbands… honor your wife…” we are told in the Bible. Honor is a strong word.

However, if you are being controlled by your wife and it is hurting you and the family unit, take a look at our material to men so you can learn how to turn things around. If you are confused about the control issue, we’ve dealt with it at length in my books to men, Forever My Love and Keep Love Exciting & Lasting.

The wife is her husband’s partner by divine appointment. If she’s the natural leader and thus the strongest personality of the two, she still shouldn’t step into her husband’s shoes, so to speak. If she would have a peaceful, happy home and children who are not confused about their sexuality, she’ll allow her husband to fulfill his God given role as the one who makes the final decision if there is disagreement over an issue. She’ll respect him and his decisions in such cases even if she is not in accord with them. She’ll praise him and hold him up as a role model for the children. A woman still can maintain her independence that way, but at the same time, she’ll be assuring her husband’s love and admiration of her.

She’ll praise him and hold him up as a role model for the children. A woman still can maintain her independence that way, but at the same time, she’ll be assuring her husband’s love and admiration of her. See why I have made those statements by reading my books written for women, Love Me Always and A Woman’s Emotional Needs.

If you are a woman who is being controlled by your husband to the point where you feel smothered or a prisoner to his whims, there is no need to file for divorce. Learn what to do in our material for women and make sure your husbands reads my books written for him.

Here’s a huge What If? What if your husband or your wife is moving into an area that is morally wrong or harmful to his/her body, your marriage or the family unit. Then, by all means, you need to talk, get counsel, set your foot down and determine to stop it whether it’s drugs, pornography, an affair, out of control anger, abuse, etc.

Who is boss is, as the old saying goes, a bone of contention in many families and has caused numerous breakups. Don’t let it happen to you. Stop the hurt that’s breaking your heart. Be loving partners, each focused on what you do best, tapping into each other’s knowledge so you can form a powerful whole that will give your children a sense of security and a feeling that all is right with their world.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

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