The Marriage Of High Hopes

Tom and Susan walked into my office. No, this was not a formal session. Just a couple of friends and me sitting down to talk over their relationship. They had been fighting on a regular basis, like a couple of days out of every week. Some of it had to do with his anger, jealousy and past experiences. Some of it had to do with her sharp tongue and dominating personality.

After I listened for a while, I asked them how often they’d been fighting over the last few years. Their reply, “I think we’ve gone a record four weeks without fighting.”

What!!? I could see that they weren’t kidding. I realized right there that if they didn’t do something radical, they would never save their marriage. So I asked them if they wanted to continue living in their relationship as it was right now. Both of them decided that they hated it and wanted things to alter.

After asking them a couple more questions, it became clear that they weren’t dealing primarily with problems in their marriage. Their relationship was only bringing out the weaknesses and problems in their own personalities and history of experiences. Neither one of them had ever spent time working through those problems, and as a result, they were bringing their personal flaws into their union and then attempting to build a healthy relationship on the weaknesses that were rampant in their own individual lives.

That may sound confusing, but we see this all the time in couples who are struggling, even though they still want to save their marriages.

Tom really loved his wife, and it all of a sudden dawned on him that he needed to find a mentor or counselor who would help him deal with his issues of anger and jealousy, so that those things would no longer influence his relationship with her. Susan realized that she was going to have to find a mentor or counselor to help her temper her sharp tongue and learn how to quit dominating Tom.

Tom really loved his wife, and it suddenly dawned on him that he needed to find a mentor or counselor who would help him deal with his issues of anger and jealousy, so that those things would no longer impact his relationship with her. Susan realized that she was going to have to find a mentor or counselor to help her moderate her sharp tongue and learn how to stop dominating Tom.

That was yesterday. Both are actively seeking out strong mentors who have good marriages; people who will be able to counsel and direct them in growing and changing personally so that their weaknesses don’t continue to contaminate their love for each other.

My hopes are high. I’ll keep you posted.

Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

All marriages are worth saving, no matter what your marriage problems are Save your marriage today, and get separate help for women

Be Sociable, Share!

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Easy AdSense by Unreal