Skills To Survive His Affair

Hailey hadn’t realized that Ryan had strayed, but she knew something wasn’t right between them. Did he love her anymore? She tried to remember the last time he told her so. Now it seemed he scarcely noticed her except when he wanted sex. She was scared. Really scared. Was she going to lose him?

When she found out about his affair, she went into a rage. He matched her anger and sent it right back at her. Hurtful words were spewed like poison by both parties. “I’m getting a divorce, Mother,” she sobbed over the phone. “Think, Hailey,” her mother said. “Ryan was dead wrong to do what he did, and nothing will ever excuse it. But usually, there are problems that lead up to this that both parties cause. Isn’t there some way you can save your marriage for the children’s sake?”

It was late one evening, several weeks later, when Ryan strode into the house, sank to his knees and asked Hailey’s forgiveness. She blinked in disbelief. “Wh-what about…that…other woman?” she asked, tears starting.

“I’ve been a fool, Honey,” he said. “I want you to see something that a buddy gave me. It opened my eyes to my stupidity.”

Ryan’s friend had given him my (Margaret’s) book, Forever My Love, written to men. He read it, read it again and then, burying his face in his arms, prayed, admitting to God how ridiculous he’d been. He immediately broke off the affair with the other women and rushed back to his wife’s side.

At first she didn’t believe him. She didn’t want to believe him. She was afraid to believe him, fearful that his regret was temporary. Not knowing what else to do, she asked if she could read Forever My Love, too. Then she sent for my book A Woman’s Emotional Needs. She realized, as she read it, that there had been lots of mistakes she had made where Ryan’s needs were concerned.

They began to talk. Sometimes for hours. Over time, Hailey and Ryan got to the core of what tempted him to cheat and flushed out what they didn’t understand about each other. He did an about face, Hailey made some vital changes, finally reaching the point of forgiving Ryan, truly forgiving him, and they did save their marriage.

Admittedly, one of the most difficult things to pardon is when the person who promised to love you until death do you part betrays you. It cuts to the very core of who you are. That act destroys hard earned trust and loyalty. Without those, there is nothing to hold a marriage up.

In another case, Anthony suffered betrayal at the hands of two people he loved. His wife had an affair with his brother. It was such a shock to him that he stumbled out of the room, got in his truck, sped onto the freeway and drove for hours. He didn’t come back to the house for several days. By the time he returned, his wife was gone. A note on the table said the kids were staying with their Aunt Betsy – Landon’s wife. She and Landon were leaving for Reno to get divorces.

Anthony’s call to Betsy revealed that she was unaware of what had happened. She thought Landon, who was a trucker with his own vehicle, was on a trip. He was, of course, but not the trip she imagined. Her grief was almost more than she could bear.

In this situation two marriages and one large extended family had been destroyed – with seven children suffering the fallout. Extended family relationships were broken, as well, that probably never would be repaired.

Could the marital carnage have been prevented? Could these marriages have been saved? Very possibly. None of the adult parties involved – Anthony, Ella, Betsy and Landon – had a clue about how to make sure their marriages stayed intact. Because they didn’t understand their roles as husbands and wives, they made foolish mistakes and decisions, their marriages crumbled and their children have major problems.

Don’t let something this devastating happen to your family. Not only can you prevent affairs, but if one has taken place, there are ways to heal and make sure it doesn’t happen again. We here at www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com will guide you in laying the foundation, not only for saving your marriage, but for making it strong and affair proof. V:3

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International speaker and author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

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